Q1 What was the context/situation/challenge?
Writing up my Ed.D Thesis
Q2 What were the particular characteristics of the situation that engaged you in an immersive way.
I recently completed a doctorate. This process consumed me for the best part of 5 years as a part time student working full time but with the support of my husband and 3 children.
When asked to write about an immersive experience I remembered sitting on a beach in Italy flicking through the folder that contained all that I had written to date. This was in September 2006. I had been at a medical education conference and had a couple of hours spare before I had to catch my flight home. I had brought the folder with me in the vague hope that I would have a chance to work on the thesis.
I had arrived at a point in my doctorate experience where I knew that I had all the data that I needed, I had formulated the ideas that I wanted to express and explore, I just had to get down to pulling together all the pieces I’d already written and then finding a narrative through it that made sense. I was very familiar with the content but felt too close to it to see a route through.
In March 2007 I sat my viva, and following a few modifications graduated in July 2007.
This account is of the process that took place between that sunny afternoon in September and when I handed in the completed thesis the following January.
Q3 What forms of learning / personal development / change emerged from the situation?
A feeling of creating order, making sense out of material that was both very familiar to me but which seemed at the outset to be very fragmented. I have a very strong sense of a journey over that period as at times I struggled to find the confidence in myself and the work I had done. Frequently I asked myself whether I had produced anything that was worth recording, but at the same time I refused to give up. I had a very strong sense that the end was in sight, or would be if I just kept going. When I finally completed the thesis I emerged with a feeling of relief that I had reached the end of the process, but also with an element of pride in myself and my work.
Q4 What words/concepts/feelings would you use to describe the immersive experience?
A movement from panic, desolation, depression and despair, through confusion and bewilderment, finally to clarity, order, and even smugness, tinged with worry and sense of exposure.
Q5 What principles or lessons can be drawn from this story? For example, how could this story inform designs and enrich opportunities for learning through immersive experience in higher education?
I think that the main lesson that I drew from this was the value of being uncomfortable and out of control, as it was only by being in that position that I was able to find the order, and a way of explaining what I had found. I don’t like to feel out of control of situations, and I hate to miss deadlines. At the start of this story when I was sitting on the beach I felt out of control and couldn’t imagine that I would meet my self imposed deadline of completing that academic year.
In terms of teaching others, I suppose the strongest message for me is to remember that it is OK to be out of control, bewildered and confused as it is only when you are that you can move to a place that makes sense - which to me is the essence of learning. I know that as a teacher I have a tendency to want to avoid those panicky feelings, both for myself and for students - I try to protect others from those unpleasant feelings, when really I should be more open to creating the opportunity to experience confusion in a controlled and safe environment.
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