Who I Became
Hayley York
“Hello, my name is Hayley”. It was my first day teaching English as a Second Language in Madrid, Spain. I was told this particular class had English classes the year before, so while they were beginners, they did have some grasp of the language. As I introduced myself that first class, I was greeted with blank stares. I tried again, more slowly, “Hel-lo. My name is Hayley”. This time, they all spoke: “no intiendo”.
Before I continue, what you need to understand is exactly how terrified I was at that moment. I had just moved to the capital of Spain from my hometown in Canada. I had never lived on my own, I had never visited Madrid, I moved by myself, and I didn’t speak a word of Spanish. I was as overwhelmed as a person could be. On top of that, I was beginning a new career as an English teacher in a successful architectural company – teaching lawyers, engineers, and managers. And now, after introducing myself to my first class, my students’ response – in Spanish – was ‘I don’t understand’. I was seized with panic.
Somehow, I managed to get my class through our two hours together, and when I left I knew I had to come up with a new plan – and fast. But how? There I was: unsure, afraid, and naive. By the next class, I had a new lesson plan; I was going to start at the very beginning with the alphabet. This seemed to me to be a good plan; however, I was met with icy acceptance in our second class. The students – all native Spaniards – participated minimally. I left feeling completely intimidated and defeated.
The next day I went to my boss and asked for help. I was intimidated by my students who were all much older than I was and very successful business-people. And as I found in all aspects of my life at that point, I was having trouble communicating even the simplest of concepts. What my boss told me was one of those pieces of advice I will never forget. He said, “Don’t be intimidated. Remember, you are there to teach these people something you know and they don’t.” After our talk, I left his office with a slightly renewed sense of composure.
By the next class, I had purchased a Spanish-English dictionary, which I told my students they all had to buy before our next meeting. Looking up almost every word was a slow and tedious process – but it was necessary for making any kind of headway. I was by no means very confident yet, but I was starting to feel a little more comfortable in front of the class. My students and I continued, making slow strained progress, for a couple months.
Then one day, my boss told me I was to give my students a performance evaluation. This made me very uncomfortable as I still wasn’t completely confident teaching them – and here I was to evaluate their progress. After much thought and consideration, I came to the decision that in turn for my evaluations of the students; I would ask the students to evaluate my performance.
I went to class that day, evaluations in hand, and attempted to relay my comments to each student. As their grasp of English was still basic, it was challenging. What happened next though permanently changed my experience living and working in Madrid. When I asked for feedback from my students, I received performance recommendations and more. The students appeared genuinely appreciative of the reciprocal offer for evaluation. Not only did they initiate conversation, they were more attentive when I spoke as well. It was as if by opening myself up to the students, they in turn, offered more of themselves. For the first time in months we all were really hearing what each other had to say and it created a wonderfully positive atmosphere.
After that day, things in class started falling into place. My students’ attendance was up, they were asking for and completing homework and I started feeling confident and comfortable in the classroom. As their English improved, my Spanish did as well – it was as if we were teaching each other and enjoying each moment. My students had constant questions about life in Canada and were equally as enthusiastic about sharing information about the Spanish lifestyle. As they learned about me, I learned about their culture – and the benefits reached all aspects of my life in Madrid. I was gaining understanding, appreciation, and confidence in my daily life, as well as in the classroom. The end result was my students went from a level of no English to an intermediate level in the span of six months. The benefit for me – I believe – was far greater.
In hindsight, completely immersing myself in Spanish culture was a drastic and valuable decision. While those first few months in Madrid were the hardest I’ve ever survived, I realize now that I was my biggest barrier in integrating into Spanish society. I was so caught up with trying to conduct my life as I knew how to (from a Canadian perspective) I didn’t even consider those around me. What I mean to say is that I didn’t consider how my presence affected my students. Over those first two months, I learned that the Spanish people resent foreigners (especially Americans) and they associated me with those preconceptions. Second, I learned that the Spanish people appreciate foreigners who make an effort to “live the Spanish life”. By opening myself up to the students, they began to trust me. It demonstrated I was willing to understand their perspective and it opened the door for our relationship to grow.
While I wanted to give up in those first few months, I didn’t want to let my parents down. I didn’t want to let myself down. I had moved to a new country for a new adventure and I knew it would be hard. I had no idea it would be as hard as it was, however I became the person I am because of that experience. I learned to appreciate a new culture and to be wholly open to it. By the end of my time in Spain, I made countless friendships and was invited into the lives of my students (many of which I still keep in touch with today). Most of all, I gained confidence. I gained the confidence that has allowed me to progress to the newest chapter in my life.
For the second time I have moved my life overseas. I moved to Guildford in September to further my academic career. With this move, I wasn’t nervous to immerse myself in a new culture – I was excited. I felt confident I could handle whatever obstacles may come my way because I knew I’d survived and benefitted from my past experiences. Now I look back on my time in Madrid with nothing but joy, satisfaction, and pride. I am so grateful I persevered, as it made me the confident, open, and appreciative person I am today.
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